Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Summer Vacation

I've been away far too long. M and I had a wonderful getaway this Summer. The two of us stayed in a great hotel over three days. I packed our black bag with my ropes, toys and the clothing I expected M to wear while in our room. She understood that crossing the threshold, she was to be bound by the protocol that guides our sessions. We had three days of intense exploration. M was a very good girl.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

After Our First 90 Days

After our first 90 days, we've continued in our exploration. In order to provide a reference to our understanding I wrote the following letter to M, as guide to our continuing journey.

Dearest M,

I feel it important to state some guidelines that are derived from our last agreement. These represent the spirit as well as letter of our understanding. I intend to act with these in mind. I expect you to do so as well.

You give yourself to me as my sexual submissive.
You are available to me, whenever I choose to enjoy you.
You are to be prepared for my use, especially in mindset, at all times.
Your body belongs to me, to be used as seen fit by me
Take good care of yourself – exercise, diet, rest – I want you at your best

Your focus is on pleasing me sexually.
Do not hesitate when responding to me.
Be attentive to my needs and respond to them to the best of your abilities.
Offer yourself at least twice weekly – Saturday evening and one other time
during the week, selected by you.
Dress for me – heels, stockings and provocative clothing.
Keep your body clean, shaven and trimmed for me.

Embrace your submissive role
Engage in sessions with enthusiasm and a desire to please – active vs. passive
Remember your manners - polite requests are better received than demands
Communicate regularly with me as my submissive – use your journal at least weekly
Be open – share your thoughts, desires, concerns, pleasures
You will be given tasks or homework. You are expected to complete in a timely manner.
Accept any discipline I decide to administer.
Take joy in your submission – remember that this journey is about finding that intense
intimacy we both crave
Put yourself in my hands.

I encourage you to enjoy the intensity of the experience – let go and enjoy. We have an exciting journey ahead of us. I have such a craving for you.

Your adoring Sir,

Friday, July 3, 2009

A Gentle Reminder to M

I wrote to M, restating my expectations. Manners matter.

In many ways, these guidelines also reflect how we pursue our passions while living busy and full lives. You may notice that our intimacy moves to a more weekly rhythm. We both find this sustainable - it seems to fit us well.

Guidelines for My Good Submissive

Always be polite – remember your manners
In particular, remember to make requests, not demands
Kiss me passionately every day
Honor your Saturday commitments
Acknowledge my requests and directives
Make me a priority in your thoughts
Honor the spirit and letter of your commitment to me – Accommodate me
Be open – share your thoughts, desires, concerns, pleasures
Greet me as a lover should whenever we are reunited
Use your journal regularly – at least weekly
Take good care of yourself – exercise, diet, rest – I want you at your best
Take joy in your submission – remember that this journey is about finding that intense intimacy we both crave.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

One of my first tasks with M was to introduce my expectations regarding etiquette. Following is my instruction to her:

For the most part, you have behaved wonderfully. You have been very good about following session directions. I have started to see you take some initiative in selecting shoes and clothing to please me. This makes me very happy.

Please remember the basic principles that should guide you:
Use Manners (be polite)
Provide appropriate acknowledgement
Show gratitude
Be succinct in words (not a problem for you)
When in doubt, question. When in need, request

I believe that reluctance on your part to use appropriate manners is due to some shyness or discomfort in accepting your position. We will continue to work on this.

M has responded well to these guidelines.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Evening Ritual

In our first weeks, I spent guiding M toward the basics of submissive behavior and the protocols that I expected. Our sessions were structured as more highly ritualized sessions.

On these nights, M retires to our bedroom, where I've made preparations. I usually select something for her to wear. I also write out a note to her, telling her how I want her to prepare. She bathes, dresses and readies herself. She lights our session candle - a single taper that is only lit on these evenings. Finally M puts on music, a CD I've created for our sessions, and kneels in front of a straight backed chair, placed in the center of the room. Her hands are to be behind her back, clenching opposite forearms. Her eyes are to downcast, focused on the spot where my feet would be when I sit in the chair.

The music is her call to me. I usually wait for some time, giving M the chance to focus on her submission. I eventually climb the stairs to her. I always pause behind her, kissing her neck and shoulder and whispering some sweet obscenity in her ear. I then take my seat in the chair. We both find the anticipation in this beginning to be intense and exciting.

When seated in front of M, I enjoy kissing her and tellling her how much I adore her. I also describe how I intend to use her that evening. A special treat for her is to be given a good spanking. Spanking is not considered a punishment with M - she enjoys it too much. I enjoy her response when I tell M she is to be given a spanking.

I enjoy introducing new practices and protocols in these sessions. We both find the ritualized approach creates a sense of stepping into another dimension. M has proven to be attentive and enthusiastic in her submission. Tonight is Saturday - I look forward to taking her again.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Role of Our Contract in Our Beginning

In my last posting I listed our contract of sexual submission. For us, this has proved a very useful guide. As I introduced the idea of M becoming my submissive, the contract provided a clear understanding of what I expected.

I had worked to create a contract that fit both of us. For M, I knew that she needed reassurance that I loved, respected and adored her, even as she became my sexual submissive. Further, the contract had to acknowledge the reality of our daily lives, working around the professional and family obligations that often distracted us from one another, while creating an intensity when we came together.

A key aspect of the contract was the specific call out of times for M to offer herself to me. This has become an important part of making our experience a success. These sessions have become a time of higher protocol and ritual. I believe they are critical in maintaining a delicious sexual intensity between us throughout our week.

The contract allowed me to make very clear how I wanted her to present herself to me. I absolutely adore M in stockings and heels. This is more than a bit of a fetish for me. I enjoy selecting exactly what she is to wear for me. Needless to say, I've taken full advantage of gaining pleasure through her attire.

As we began our experience, the contract was often called upon to help guide us. It has been very helpful in reinforcing my expectations.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Beginning - A Contract of Sexual Submission

We began our journey by negotiating a Contract of Sexual Submission. We both came to terms rather quickly, although the negotiation was enjoyable. I will comment on the contract as an aid to us in future posts, but suffice to say, we found it a good way to make expectations clear.

Here is our contract:

Contract of Sexual Submission

This Contract establishes a Sir-submissive relationship which is effective beginning at 6PM on January 30, 2009 and ending at 6PM on April 30, 2009 between M, hereinafter referred to as Submissive, and J hereinafter referred to as Sir.

This Contract is provided as an agreement which defines in specific terms the relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter termed the submissive and Sir. This agreement is not intended to be legal and binding. Rather, this agreement is intended to serve as clarification of expectations and limits between two consenting adults. It is agreed that fundamental to this agreement will be the practices of the virtues of trust, honesty, openness, loyalty and obedience.

This document is written expressly for the guidance, betterment and benefit of the Sir-submissive relationship. These agreements benefit Sir, as they should, but by accepting the firm hand, wisdom and guidance of these laws, they shall benefit the submissive's interests, as fully and faithfully considered and decided by Sir. This evolving document shall be a guidepost for the submissive's behavior and Sir's expectations of the submissive and what the submissive may expect from Sir. By their marks, both Sir and submissive agree and accept that these terms and conditions cannot be altered in any way except by mutual consent. This agreement must be entered voluntarily with both parties agreeing to the conditions.
Section One: Sir's Role
Sir accepts the commitment to treat the submissive properly, to train the submissive, discipline the submissive, adore the submissive, and use the submissive as he sees fit, under the provisions determined in this contract.

Discipline will include, but not be limited to corporal punishment (by hand or other implement).
Section Two: The Submissive's Role
The submissive agrees to submit to Sir within the limits specified. The submissive also agrees that, once entered into the Contract, her body belongs to Sir, to be used as seen fit, within the guidelines defined herein.

.in this contract
Section Three: Terms and Limits
No part of this agreement is intended to interfere with the submissive's career. Sir wishes the submissive to work hard and honestly, in general to conduct herself in a manner calculated to bring honor and respect to them both. During periods of work, the submissive is expected to schedule appointments, to dress in a manner appropriate to work, and to conduct herself as a professional.
Submissive is expected to submit to Sir’s sexual needs upon demand. Sir will exercise judgment and understanding in making such demands.
Submissive is expected to offer herself for Sir’s sexual use and pleasure at least twice weekly. These offerings are to be made on Tuesday and Saturday evenings. In the event of health issues or travel conflict, submissive will arrange an alternate date and time to offer herself. Failure to offer herself on this schedule will result in punishment.
During sexual encounters, submissive is to be guided by the Code of Conduct, detailed below in Section Four. Any breech of this code will result in punishment.
In encounters, submissive has the following rights:
The submissive has a right to ask for an adjustment or modification to the terms of this contract at any time.

The submissive has a right to cancel this contract at any time with a simple notification to Sir.

The submissive has the right to expect her Sir to both know her, who she is and has always been, and to respect these facets of her personality and not to require her to do or become anything which would make her uncomfortable or in any way interfere with those facets of her personality.


Section Four: Code of Conduct
The submissive must maintain a submissive demeanor at all times when in sexual sessions with her Sir. Social settings will not require this same demeanor but may be shown if not noticeable by anyone present.
1. The submissive will always speak to her Sir in terms of love and respect, addressing him appropriately. When offering herself to him, she will use the phrase “I offer myself to you.”
2. Submissive will follow any and all session rituals and protocols set forth by Sir for the term of this contract. Failure will result in punishment.
3. Submissive will engage in sessions with enthusiasm and a desire to please. She will refrain from eye rolling, heavy sighs or other signals that she is bored or displeased with how she is used.
4. Submissive will complete any assigned tasks or homework in a timely manner. Failure will result in punishment.
5. The submissive shall keep her body available for the use of her Sir. The submissive acknowledges that her Sir may use her body or mind in any manner he wishes within the parameters of safety and discretion.
6. The submissive agrees to accept any punishment Sir decides to inflict, whether earned or not. He may hurt her without reason to please Himself. The submissive enjoys the right to cry, scream or beg, but accepts the fact that these heartfelt expressions will not affect her treatment
7. Submissive will prepare herself for Sir’s use by:
A. dressing to please him.
i. Basic attire shall consist of her highest heels and stockings.
ii. Submissive shall acquire and wear provocative clothing, either at Sir’s
direction or upon her own initiative.
iii. Submissive will place priority on pleasing Sir through her dress over her
discomfort or insecurities.
B. cleaning, shaving and trimming as appropriate and specified.

Further, Submissive makes the following pledge:

1. I will not hesitate when responding to my Sir. I must be attentive to his needs and respond to them to the best of my abilities.

2. Whenever Sir speaks, even when I am speaking, I am to immediately become silent so I may be able to listen to what He has to say. I must never interrupt Him.

3. I will not be passive in serving Sir. I will participate in my exchange with Him, engaging in an enthusiastic manner.

Section Five: Submissive's Signature
I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give myself completely to my Sir, and further accept his claim of ownership over my physical body. I understand that I will be used, trained and punished. I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of my Sir to the best of my abilities.


Section Six: Sir's Signature
I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this submissive as possession, and to care for her to the best of my ability. I shall take her, train her, and punish her. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to the submissive as long as she is mine.